Yehi hai right choice

In India, clerics were trying to put Sania Mirza behind a burqa. Elsewhere in seemingly more progressive climes, scientists were close to giving women the option of becoming virgin moms, discovers LH Naqvi.

When I was magazine editor of The Hindustan Times, we asked Khushwant Singh, then our boss, to do a ritual New Year's piece. That is when we discovered why he hated humbugs. He was straight and uncomplicated. He had no airs. He walked into our cabin, handed me the copy and said, "kuchh rah gaya ho tou daal deyna. I am particularly not happy with the ending. It is abrupt. See if you can finish it off for me by mentioning that I give this planet earth another 10 years because of the destructive arms race."

I followed instructions. I remember the two paragraphs we introduced in the copy because I had written them for Khushwant Singh, editor-in-chief of The Hindustan Times! The first one said, "This was also the year when Josh Malihabadi and Firaq Gorakhpuri returned to the Maker they did not believe in. Knowing their weakness for young boys, I suspect 'ghilmaans' (male houries) must have been in short supply".

The article ended with "Khushwant Singh" predicting "the planet earth will become nuclear dust in the next 10 years because of the reckless global arms race. My only worry is that hell is going to be terribly crowed. As for heaven, I hate traveling first class all by myself."
I had to pass the test of being a different Naqvi to be accepted as part of his family. This is an important point. There was some controversy over the proposal to appoint Saeed Naqvi as Deputy Editor under Khushwant Singh. The move was scuttled because of pressure from the senior editorial staff.

A few years ago my wife, Kahkashan, and I made an unannounced visit, a privilege granted to a select circle of friends. Khushwant's wife, Kanval was still alive. She was indeed his better half. We got talking about after-life. With a naughty twinkle, I asked the Sardar in the bulb to nominate his successor before it was too late. He laughed when Mrs Khushwant Singh put her hand on my shoulder and said, "yehi hai right choice baby".

That was to be our last meeting with her.

Sania in Burqa!
The fatwa against Sania Mirza by a group of Sunni clerics in Hyderabad has not come as a surprise to me. The emerging tennis superstar has been charged with indecent exposure on court. No, I will not comment on their assertion that Sania's "indecent dress" would have a corrupting influence on young women. If they had their way Sania would by now be married to some Arab Sheikh — that is acceptable — and may even have returned home as a deserted wife.

Or as a great concession to popular opinion the Sunni Ulema Board might have allowed Sania to execute her sizzling forehand shots from behind a burqa. Presumably the young women whose morals the clerics want to protect, would have watched only the burqa-clad figure darting all over and ignored the shapely figure of Maria Sharapova or the bosomy Williams sisters on the other side of the court.

I have stopped reacting to fatwas. An empty mind is the devil's workshop. What makes me mad is the extraordinary media interest in the proclamations of the self-proclaimed protectors of the Islamic way of life. The Imrana story hit the headlines on television channels with the ferocity of Hurricane Katrina. Channels did not bother to cross-check the facts. No one till date knows the real story.

I had respect for Barkha Dutt, a shade more because she is the daughter of my colleague and friend, the late Prabha Dutt. However, I changed my views after participating, as a mute front row spectator with the voluble Shahid Siddique, in "We, the people". There a non-story was turned into an ill-informed debate on Muslim personal law with Salman Khursheed and Shabana Azmi as the star performers. I felt like screaming that the Imrana story was about the bad press that ignorant clerics were giving to the faith, which at the global level is being demonised for being anti-Christ, which it is not. The Quran recognises followers of the Semitic faiths as people of the book.

Preeti Woman
Preeti Jain, a struggling starlet in Mumbai, accuses Madhur Bhandarkar, director of Chandni Bar, of having sexually exploited her. No one believes her. Now she is in jail for having hired a contract killer for eliminating Bhandarkar. Pardeshi, who is said to have taken the "supari", too has been arrested. I believe there is no smoke without fire. Why would Preeti pick on Bhandarkar and not someone more successful like Subhash Ghai or Ram Gopal Verma, if the intention was to grab attention by hook or by crook? What about the "supari"? Beware of the wrath of a woman scorned. Is Preeti being framed? Or is she out to destroy Bhandarkar's reputation, and now the man himself, for no plausible reason at all? Whose story would you believe?

Virgin Moms
Science and faith can never live as happy neighbours. Had science not moved ahead in spite of the obstacles created by organised religion, we might still be living in the dark ages. The ethical row over medical science giving us "virgin moms" deserves to be ignored. Scientists in Britain are on the threshold of making "virgin conceptions" a biological reality. I don't understand stem cells or the procedure they are going to adopt for producing babies without male sperms. But I am excited. As far as I am concerned, it is one more giant step in the direction of unravelling the mysteries of nature. Every scientific breakthrough takes us closer to understanding the concept of God. When the last piece of the cosmic jigsaw is put in its place the story of this round of creation will end. About that I have no doubt.

The Real Lolita
Lolita was not a fictional under-aged sex slave of a pervert middle-aged pervert. Vladimir Nabokov controversial 1955 novel was inspired by a real-life incident. Alexander Dolinin, a lecturer at the university of Wisconsin, is an authority on Nabokov. According to Dolinin, the real Lolita was an 11 or 12-year-old girl named Sally Horner. She was caught stealing a five-cent notebook by Frank La Salle, a car mechanic, who pretended to be an FBI agent. He forced her into a sexual relationship to avoid going to jail. Sally was raped for 21 months before she managed to slip out and make a phone call. Salle was jailed for 35 years for kidnapping and rape of a minor. I would have had Salle shot for crime against humanity.